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April 28, 2022

Are You Stuck in the Groan Zone?

How do you deal with conflict...either within yourself or with other?
Do you avoid, compromise or do you face it head-on allowing yourself to work through the
Stick with me for today’s episode where we’ll talk about this embracing and worki...

How do you deal with conflict...either within yourself or with other?

Do you avoid, compromise or do you face it head-on allowing yourself to work through the



Stick with me for today’s episode where we’ll talk about this embracing and working through,

something that is referred to in dialogic interventions with groups, ’the groan zone’.


What is it? How can it help a team get unstuck? How can it help YOU get unstuck?


There are somethings that you can also do for yourself to help YOU get unstuck and it

ties back to using your mental faculties so you can see you challenge from another

point of view.

  1. Perception exercise
  2. What do I want? 5 whys
  3. Having someone mirror your idea and repeat it back (hear it in a different way)
  4. When faced with fear of making a decision: Facts and Opinions
  5. What’s the BEST that could happen and write it down
  6. How would your goal help other? The ripple effect
  7. Chasing squirrels; Bucket list

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goal, people, thinking, feel, zone, stuck, listening, unstuck, land, ideas, rat race, opinions, desire, paradigm, oftentimes, groan, direction, write, inspired action, folder


How do you deal with conflict either within yourself or with others? Do you avoid compromise? Or do you face it head on allowing yourself to work through the discomfort? Well stay with me for today's episode we'll we'll talk about embracing and working through something that is referred to in dialogic interventions with groups as the groans zone.


The following was recorded in front of a live studio audience at the studio 21 podcast cafe. This is the United Podcast Network.


Welcome to rat race reboot. I'm your host, Laura Noel. And as a certified coach and former 27 year military leader, each week, I provide bite sized mindset pivots that will help you reset your mind reawaken your spirit and regain your control. And lower everybody and welcome back to another episode, I'm excited to be here. And I love when I, for those of you who don't know, I am a well, gosh, two thirds of the way through my doctoral program for Organizational Psychology with a concentration in neuroscience. And so I love when I learned a different method or just a different insight from some leaders thought leaders. And I can share that with you and kind of dissect it a little bit and then kind of put a twist on it, as it pertains to individuals who are getting out of the rat race. But I'm talking about something called the groan zone. And in SAM Cantor's facilitators guide to participating participatory decision making, he describes his groan zone as a space where the team and the group is brainstorming different things. And there are a lot of divergent opinions and ideas going on. And people can start to become impatient or confused. There's a lot of misunderstanding, a lot of people aren't listening to understand they're more advocating for their point of view. And oftentimes, teams will just kind of get frustrated and move on to the next thing, or they don't really get very far they don't work through it. And so the groan zone is a really great place to be. Because it's a place where you can tap in, if you're really listening to each other, you can tap into that creativity, you remember, you will only take you as far as your level of awareness will take you we you know, we don't have all the answers, I don't have all the answers. But when we can push through that groan zone, we're going to be much stronger as a team as a group. And I'm thinking about this in the context of, of course, working with teams and groups. And there's a lot of tools that we can use as facilitators to help teams get through that groan zone. So if you sound like if this sounds like something you need support with, I want you to go to the show notes. And let's put a call together. And we can talk about it and see where you might need help. But I'm thinking about this on an on an individual level, you know, we have our comfort zone, it's the ground zone. And sometimes when I'm talking with clients, especially when they're first starting out, there can be it seems like a bunch of divergent ideas or a bunch of random ideas, particularly when they're trying to land on what it is they truly desire. You know, if you are trying to get out of the rat race, to do something, you've got to figure out what that something is. Otherwise, you're going to stay stuck in the rat race. Because if that's your habitual way of being, if you don't have a really good reason to change, if you don't have something a star that you're shooting after, then you're not going to change your paradigm and your BS and your mental programming is always going to be stronger than that goal. And it's always going to suck you back in to homebase, even if you're not satisfied being there. So I'm thinking about some people that I've talked with, or that I've even worked with in the initial stages of going through this mindset work and this personal development work. And oftentimes people will feel stuck. When they're brainstorming ideas of gosh, if I could have anything I want, what would that be got? That seems so vast and so big. How do I land on one thing? Well, that's a grown zone. But sometimes people will just abandon that idea. And they feel like they don't know and they don't have the answers. So then they get distracted. So their habitual way of being chasing those, you know, shiny pennies and squirrels kind of reel them back in and then they're still left feeling not satisfied. So I'm going to give you some tips that sort of aligned with that groan zone that you can use on an individual level to help you You get unstuck. So I want to ask you, and this really aligns with what we talked about last week, and that's taking full and extreme ownership and responsibility for the results that you're getting, and pausing. And in that pause, listening to your intuitive guidance, listening to that intuition. How often do you actually listen to yourself think, you know, we are bombarded with information coming at us from all directions, the news, other people chat, you know, Facebook, social media, you know, school work, can competing demands of other people that we often don't carve the time out, to even acknowledge our thinking, but I'm telling you, the things that you want in your life, your goals, your dreams, they're not out there, they're inside of you. So I want to share a few things that I thought about the other day that I think would be really beneficial to you to help you get unstuck. No matter where you are in the process of goal achieving whether it's, in thinking up, what is that goal? What do I truly desire, or if it's stepping through fear, I find that often getting stuck in analysis paralysis, so I have like seven things.


One is when when you finally do land on that goal, or if you're having fear, even choosing one of those goals, I've had clients who were fearful of even landing on something for a multitude of reasons. Then think about your situation from another person's perspective. Think use your mental faculties, your perception. And imagine what would somebody else who you maybe admire and respect, say about the situation right now, where you're feeling stuck, where you're not taking the leap, where you're not being decisive and making the decision. And I want you to think about where you're feeling stuck that stuckness and then write it out journal about it. But from that other person's perspective, that can often help us get unstuck, and get us moving. Again, we're out of our own way, we're getting the problem outside of us and onto a piece of paper, and kind of putting ourselves in somebody else's shoes, and looking at the problem from a different direction. The other thing that I think is really helpful, is when you're brainstorming ideas of thumb, some things that you want to be do or have. And you land on something, ask yourself why I love this exercise the five why's because sometimes we can think of things and they're really surfacey. And I want that car, I want that house. But if you drill down, well, why do I want that house? Because I want I want to be comfortable in my home. I don't I don't feel safe where I live now. Why? Because I want to I want to have gatherings at my house. I I never have gatherings at my house. Well, why I want to have events at my house. So whatever that is drill down to five times to get to the root cause of what it is you truly desire. Maybe it's not the house that you desire. But maybe it's you want to have more family gatherings. Well, you could do that now. And you could start living in that way now and still have the house too. But it just gets you to drill down. Why is this important to you? And what is it that you truly desire? Okay.



I often say it's very helpful to have somebody to talk to, and have a coach or a mentor that you really respect and admire who has your best interest at heart who can mirror back to you some of the things that you're saying out loud? Gosh, I remember. And I don't remember what it was that I said exactly. But I was a small group of us were in the lounge. And we were going on a private jet back from Vegas to Toronto with Bob Proctor. And Bob Proctor was incredible at just really listening. And I think I just said something careless, that just came out of my mouth in the midst of conversation. He's like, No, he's zeroed in on that and corrected my thinking right there on the spot. So you want to have somebody in your corner who understands the Law of Attraction who understands energy, who understands that how your thoughts become things and how important your thoughts are and how they can move you away from what you truly desire and also be used to leverage the Law of Attraction Question and, and your energy to move you in the right direction. So find a coach or a mentor. That's, that's key. When faced with fears, when you're stuck in, at a crossroads, take two sheets of paper and write on one side facts. And then on the other side, right opinions. So when you can distinguish between facts, and your opinions and your beliefs, your beliefs often will feel real, but they're often not true. Because a lot of our beliefs are a part of our paradigm, we've been dragging them with us, since we were babies, it's like dragging home base with you, when you're trying to circle all the bases and you hit a home run, you're not going to get very far. So if you can separate facts, and opinions, and then just focus on the facts, okay, you can change your opinions, those are your paradigms. I love the idea of writing the what's the best thing that can happen? And write that out. So instead of thinking like we're trained to what's the worst case scenario, we don't ever really think of what's the best case scenario? And often when we're thinking about what's the worst case scenario, we're letting that drive our decision making, we're not letting the future drive our decision making. We're letting the past that, does that make sense? It doesn't make sense to me.


How would your goal help others? Sometimes that can help you get unstuck? Think about your goal. And that's why I always have you think about your, when we're taking inspired action. At the end of every episode, I'm having you think about your goal. But then I'm also having you bring other people into the picture into the image. How is it impacting them? What's the ripple effect that you're having, and that can oftentimes help you get unstuck. And I love this one, this one I needed to use I still use it is I have a bucket list, I have a folder on my desktop, or in my email, where when things sound really cool and interesting to me, I love learning, I would take all of the class, I probably have a folder of like, all of the online courses that ever been created in the world. In this folder, I've probably taken most of them, because I just love learning. But we can't do all of the things and make progress. Really massive progress toward our goals, when we're chasing squirrels and shiny pennies. So have a folder on your desktop in on your computer in your email, and call it bucket list. And then all those things that seem really interesting too, you just put it in there, they're not going anywhere, right, you can come back and get them later. But don't let those things be distractions. Because it's just noise. And that is also your paradigm. I'm I am all over the place. That's my paradigm. That's I love being in all of the things. But if I allow that way of thinking, to pull me in different directions, I would never get anything done. And I know a lot of people like that I seem to attract them, you know, and I help them. If that sounds like you and you want some help, definitely go to the shownotes you'll see my calendar there book a call with me. And let's have a conversation. So I can support you in that. You don't have to live like that. And you can make some great progress toward your goals. So hopefully those seven things will be helpful to you. These will also be in the show notes. You don't have to memorize them. It's all good. But I want you to kind of relax. And just think about where are you feeling stuck in your momentum? In your goal achieving process? Do you have a goal? Are you kind of confused by the multitude of choices out there? Have you decided to move in a direction but you still don't know for some reason, feel like something's blocking you. I want you to let that go right now. And I only want you to think about what it is you truly want. Even if it's a bit fuzzy, and it's the feeling of you reaching your goal. Oftentimes, people have specific things in mind. Because they want to feel the feeling of freedom. They want to feel accomplished. They want to feel like they're making a difference. They want to feel love. That's kind of those are some things that are underneath some of those material things. It's okay to want material things too, by the way. So Wherever you are, bring to mind what it is you truly desire, even if it's just a feeling


what does freedom and joy feel like? If you've reached your goal, and you feel the joy of being there, and you feel free, who are you sharing that joy? And feeling of freedom with?


When you feel that joy and freedom are you being present, truly present and doing things that matter to you, being present with the people you love? And I want you to bring those individuals to your mind's eye.


How are they experiencing you? When you are rock solid, confident, joyful, joyfully present, free from concerns. What is it like being in your presence. And I as ideas float to your consciousness, or words, feelings, write them down and carry those with you throughout the day. Maybe you feel inspired to take action toward that vision.


So whatever you brought to your mind's eye, the feeling of your dream fulfilled. You're in harmony with that right now. And so when ideas and inspiration float to your consciousness, take action on that. Even if it doesn't make complete sense to you take the first step. See, if you're really landing on a goal that's worthy of your greatness, you're not going to know all of the steps, you're not going to see all of the steps it's going to take to get there. But you'll see the first one. And this is where taking inspired action was so important. take that first step. And when you're there, you'll be led to the next one. Do that every day, and you're going to create some massive traction in the direction of your goal. So I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If you did, go to rat race reboot.com wherever you listen to your podcast, leave us a five star review. Leave us a written review. I read those and it helps this message get out to more people. And also book a call with me if you want some help. If you really want to help yourself pivot in the right direction. You don't have to do this alone. Remember, everything is created twice, first in your mind and then in physical form. See you next time.


The views and opinions expressed by the hosts guests or callers of this program do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the studio 21 podcast cafe, the United Podcast Network its partners or affiliates.