How To Regain Control of your Unconscious Decision Making System Pt 2

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

people, poem, love, life, appointment, mall, spontaneous, chickened, goal, mind, day, realize, courageously, store, create, shine, comfort zone, ladies, feel, person

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What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. And that's a quote by Henry David Thoreau. So stay with me for today's episode. This is part two of our unconscious decision making system and the process of breaking through it so you can become somebody else on the other side.

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The following was recorded in front of a live studio audience at the studio 21 podcast cafe. This is the United Podcast Network.

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Welcome to rat race reboot. I'm your host, Laura Noel. And as a certified coach and former 27 year military leader, each week, I provide bite sized mindset pivots that will help you reset your mind reawaken your spirit and regain your control.

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Hello, everybody, and welcome to rat race reboot. If you remember from the last episode, I was talking about our unconscious decision making capabilities and how our paradigm can be operating underneath the surface, we don't even realize it. And it can prevent us from really stepping into the person we want to become. And if you remember, I'm going to read these instructions again. But I was tasked with an exercise to get me out of my comfort zone. And so it went like this. Go to a public place like a mall where there are lots of people and enroll at least 12 people strangers to give you permission to create a spontaneous love poem for their significant other, have each person sign a statement saying I created love and connection. So I was tasked to do that. And if you remember from last week's episode, I immediately went to the space of you know what, I'm going to invite a friend with me who's really boisterous and gregarious. And she's going to be the one who attracts the crowds. And then, you know, goats me into doing it. And I ended up deciding to go it alone, because I decided and realize that even though I love being in the midst of the excitement, I'm usually not the one generating it actually, I have a lot of friends who are very gregarious and outgoing, more outgoing than I am. And I usually just kind of get involved in meshed into the excitement but not generating it on my own. So I really wanted to step out of my comfort zone and give it a go. So here's what happened. So I went to a mall in my town. And I started walking around looking for a spot where I was going to approach people and every time I would think about, oh, here's a good spot, or let me go talk to somebody in the store. I would chicken out. So I went to the food court, like a stalker. And I noticed these two ladies that were sitting in chairs and it looked like a mother and daughter. They were older ladies. And I'm like, well, they seem like they'd be pretty friendly. So I I stopped by and I said something like, Hi, how are you doing today? I am spreading joy today and I have been asked by a group of people I'm studying personal development with to step out of my comfort zone and just create spontaneous love poems for people I meet in the mall today, would you be open to hearing a spontaneous love poem. And they kind of looked at me like I was strange. And I was actually kind of shaking. This was not in my norm. This is not something that I would normally do. So they agreed to hear the poem. And I did like just the basic Roses are red, violets are blue. And then I made up a rhyme at the end. Turned out one of the ladies Her name was rows, and they appreciated the poem and the right beside them. There was an older gentleman sitting by himself, and I'm like, this will be easy. I mean, he just heard me do this. And I don't want to hurt his feelings and leave him out. And I asked him, and he said, No. And he said, I'm not from here. And he was really nervous about me approaching him. And so I just said, Oh, well, you're not from here. Are you visiting? Are you visiting family? And he said, Yes. And I just wished him well. And, you know, just said enjoy your visit here in good old Nashua, New Hampshire. So then, I kind of wandered around the mall for a little bit. And I went into one of my favorite stores. I didn't need anything. It was Sephora. And the girl at the door was really nice and friendly and welcoming. And I'm like, You know what, I'm going to enroll her to bring her colleagues together and I'm just going to do it there for a bunch of people. And I chickened out and asking her so I was like tooling around the store playing with makeup and things that I didn't need or didn't even want. And then finally Um, three people were near me. And I'm like, You know what, I have a favor to ask of you, right now while you're here. And the girl cut me off and said, We don't have time for that. We have district managers here. And you let me know if you need help with this. But we don't have time. We're busy. And so I felt kind of rejected. And I was feeling a little bit low. after that. I kind of tooled around the store, I purchased a couple little things and and then I went home. And I realized in that moment, because I was noticing how I was feeling, how was I reacting? How was I responding to people, and I realized how I know better, but I do sometimes allow other people's attitudes to influence how I feel. And I did take it personally a little bit. And I had to shake it off. I knew that my energy wasn't in a good space, and I wasn't in a mindset to generate positive energy, and there was something missing. There's something wasn't right. Alright, so the next day, I went to a different Mall. I'm no quitter. Alright, I'm very persistent. And I chickened out again, and I ended up going to a store trying on bathing suits. I didn't need a bathing suit. But it was something to do. And then I went home. But what I realized in that moment, when I was avoiding was that I was going about it all wrong. I was going into this process, not to give out of love, but to get I was going into this process expecting to accomplish a goal and not experience the journey and the connection with people. So I was going there to I want to get this thing over with and do this thing. Let me give you a stinking poem. And will you sign this thing right here. So I was giving to get, I didn't realize that. So I didn't quit. Monday morning, I had an appointment at the VA. And I just decided, You know what, I'm going to put this tablet away. I don't care. If I have people signatures, saying that I created love and connection. I'm just going to give love to every single person I meet. Everyone, everyone that I come in contact with is getting a love poem whether or not they're getting showered with love from Laura Noel. So I pull into the parking lot. There's somebody that's greeting and making sure that you have an appointment before they let you in to the parking lot. And I pulled up and then she's like, okay, you can go in and I went in. And so I chickened out. So then you go into the door, and you get checked in. And they made us go in groups of five, and then they're asking you questions. Do you have COVID? Whatever the case may be, do you have a cold? Do you have a fever, and I just just said, I'm sending love to everyone I meet, I'm here to brighten your day Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a beautiful day, and I appreciate you. And everybody kind of smiled. And they looked at me like I was weird. And I was like, Oh, that wasn't so bad. And I kind of got the nerves out of me. And then I went to my appointment. And there were two nurses there checking people in, and I gave a spontaneous poem of appreciation to them. And then I sat down in the waiting room and there was an older veteran sitting beside me and I'm like,

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a great day, and I appreciate your service too. And he smiled, and he said, I like the way you bring cheer. It's much more healthier than having a beer. And I was like, oh my god, that's amazing. You're a poet, and I'm bringing out the best in other people. So what I was realizing in that moment was just shining, you know, just letting go of the BS, the fear, the worry about what other people thought of me and just being present. And in the moment, allowing myself to shine also gave other people permission to shine and glow. And then I went to my appointment. And there were two nurses in there. So I went through my appointment and as I was leaving, I did a little roses are red, violets are blue poem that I made up for them as well. And they were like, Wow, thank you. I really appreciate this, especially first thing on a Monday morning brightening our day. I felt so elevated when I left there and I know that everyone I came in contact with felt elevated as well. And this goes back to one of the previous episodes where I was talking about leaving people with the impression of increase. I am not a poet and it wasn't about that and it wasn't about perfection. It was about being it was about being joyful. It was about being present. It was about giving, not to get but just to give. And it was about being outward focused. and it wasn't even about getting the goal. I mean, I achieved the goal, I didn't have people sign the tablet. In fact, when I went in the car, I'm like, Okay, two people from the nurse's station five people at check in. So the number of people that I, I went above and beyond what I was asked to do. So when we get so focused on the goal, and we get so focused on, you know, giving to gain, we gain so little from that, but when we just want to give and when we have a goal that we set out there, and we're not so concerned about the goal, but we are more concerned with Who do I get to become as a result of moving toward this goal, you'll find that you create so much more than you could have ever imagined possible. So I want to ask you, what are you holding on to that is no longer serving you? What are you carrying? That is stopping you from shining, your brightest? What can you release? And let go of Who do you want to become? Where are you in your life? Not taking that step? Because you're fearful, you're worried about what other people might think you're worried that it won't look perfect? What can you let go of. And I'm going to guide you through a little visualization and meditation right now. And this is how we end every one of our shows, I want to guide you through this meditation so that you can start stepping into the light, the person you want to become right here today and right now. So wherever you are, unless you're driving as always come back to this later. Take a deep breath through your nose.

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Hold it for a second. And then exhale fully and completely. Take another deep inhale through your nose. Exhale Take one more deep inhale and exhale fully and completely. And I want you to bring to mind the person you would be if you had no fear the person you would be if you didn't feel like you had to be perfect.

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Who would you light up with joy? If you weren't weren't worried about what they were thinking about you?

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How would you courageously love and uplift others? And I want you to bring that image to your mind

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how you're serving kind of connections are you cultivating in your life? Relationships what kind of experiences do you get to live every day? Being this person who courageously steps over the threshold of fear and into your best life where you're uplifting everyone around you and as a result,

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you feel that joy in your heart in your grounded presence and enthusiasm for life and as things come to your mind, just jot them down in a notebook and come back to them and decide today you're going to do one thing that gets you out of your comfort zone

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not to get but just to leave everyone better off than when you found them do something spontaneous see how that feels. Welcome back, everybody. I hope you enjoy Today's episode, if you did, please share rat race reboot with everyone you meet, I want to get this message out to as many people as possible. This information has been life changing for me and I know if you make this a part of your daily practice, living in this way, studying yourself in this way, getting a deeper understanding of what's going on beneath the surface, peeling back those layers of the onion, you're gonna have a much more rich life full of joy. So if you enjoyed today's episode, go to rat race reboot.com subscribe to YouTube, follow us, whatever channel you listen to your podcast on. Leave a comment, leave a five star review. I do read those comments. And that impacts the algorithms and gets the message out there to more people. But until next week, remember everything is created twice, first in your mind, and then in physical form. I'll see you next week.

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The the views and opinions expressed by the hosts guests or callers of this program do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the studio 21 podcast cafe, the United Podcast Network, its partners or affiliates.