Make Decisions Like the Person You Want to Be

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

people, learning, person, brain, attraction, rewiring, wiring, results, autopilot, journey, understand, stop, behavior, goal, life, quiz, neuroplasticity, world, conversation, growth

00:00

Bob Doyle is known as an expert in the film and the movie The Secret. And he's now focusing on brain training, neuroplasticity, and your ability to rewire your brain so you can literally become the person who creates the results that you want in life. I am so excited to have this conversation with Bob, so stick around and don't miss out on this opportunity.

00:23

The following was recorded in front of a live studio audience at the studio 21 podcast cafe. This is the United Podcast Network.

00:34

Welcome to rat race reboot. I'm your host, Laura Noel. And as a certified coach and former 27 year military leader, each week, I provide bite sized mindset pivots that will help you reset your mind reawaken your spirit and regain your control. Hello, hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of rat race reboot. I am so excited to introduce our guest, Bob Doyle. Welcome to the show.

01:07

It's great to be here, Laura. Thanks for having me.

01:09

Absolutely. I am just really curious, as I am sure our listeners are, I'd love to hear about your journey, how you kind of transitioned and moved into the realm of neuroplasticity from the secret and your journey throughout that experience.

01:25

So for 20 years, my whole career really which I sidestepped into my career aspirations were always to be a broadcaster. And then I had this aha moment around the Law of Attraction started sharing it turned into a program. And then the next thing I knew I'm on the secret. And so, so for, but I was very excited about how the law of attraction work, because what happened for me was I needed some science behind it. I'm reading about quantum physics, and I had some lights come on in that. So I got my results. So I thought, well, if I just get people to see that this is a real thing, and not just some woowoo idea, then they'll have results too. But the reality is that people especially after the secret, unfortunately, there was so much information about the law of attraction, so many different techniques and processes and ideas and theories and what's going to screw it up and what you don't need to worry about. And all of those things, that people were just far too obsessed with the law of attraction, and not on their own personal transformation. They were on what I'm going to get from the law of attraction. But But transformation and growth and changing your life is about changing who you are, and then the outer results will happen. And yes, the law of attraction is working in the background. But I finally woke up to the fact that you just don't need to understand it to it's going to work. But if you keep sidetracking yourself with Oh, am I doing it right? Am I Oh, I shouldn't do this, oh, I know, I had a negative thought I'm ruined, you know, it slows people down. So that's why I transitioned because I realized that reality happens in the moment that we give that moment meaning. And that moment is based on what the meaning we give it is based on our wiring. And that meaning also drives us into our next action, which gets us our result. So if the if we're not liking our results, we have to go back to our wiring. And so for me, it's just a much more direct path to transformation, not negating the law of attraction, but just giving it the proper attention.

03:12

I love that. I love that. And I love that you're saying it, you're not negating the law of attraction, the law of attraction is always working. But it's based on who we are not necessarily what we want.

03:22

Because that's all inner but but we are in we're in a very active universe that is actively expanding and growing. And we need to be actively expanding and growing to for us to feel right. And so that involves taking action. But we've gotten this idea that manifesting or the law of attraction is all about very little action and just let it come to you. And that's just and it has and that we will somehow become this person when all that stuff happens. And that in no way makes any sense. And it is not how it works.

03:50

Right? Well tell me a little bit about how does one even begin the process or the journey of rewiring their brain? What do they need to know about this?

04:00

Well, first of all, they just first of all, they need to understand that what we're talking about is just learning like learning anything else, like learning to walk, talk a new language, anything, we're just feeding our brain new information on a consistent basis, which eventually creates neural pathways, which then allows that behavior or that knowledge to be autopilot, not so much effort anymore. And as we change our wiring and give less attention to old wiring that old wiring sort of withers and dies, this is just how we learn. And what we're talking about when it comes to transformation is just learning to be a different way, learning to make different meaning out of something that you know, historically makes us feel disempowered. It's just learning a new way to be so it requires the same thing that any other kind of learning does, which is consistency, and not going all over the place. Understanding that it's a journey that has ups and downs you will get feedback that doesn't feel great. It's what you do with that feedback. When you learn to to walk you fell down countless times and never Once Did you probably think the universe doesn't want this for me and then quit. This is the mindset though people have when they take on the Law of Attraction kind of thing. Sometimes it's like, well, I've tried this long, I guess the universe doesn't want it for me, or I'm not in the flow or something. No, you just haven't finished learning yet. You haven't finished the rewiring process. But it will happen if you continue to do it. So the first thing you need to do to rewire is understand how you're wired now, so that you can override any wiring that is stopping you or slowing.

05:31

That's so beautiful. And I think that's a key part that people forget about is they are thinking about their goal as a destination. And they're not even considering they're considering where they are in proximity to the goal. But they're not really thinking Where am I as a being,

05:49

right. And you have, if you look at, you know, generally we get inspired to be somebody or be a certain thing or achieve a certain thing, because somebody out there has inspired us in some way. And so if we look at those people and what they're doing, and the impact they're making, they took a journey, they took a journey that was probably really crappy sometimes that they probably wanted to quit and give up on that, where they felt like five steps backwards, but they were committed, it was non negotiable. And they just kept being the person who was going to get whatever results and feedback they needed to continue the learning process, so that they will finally then they get it. And that's again, how we learn anything, it's how all inventions are done. They make gazillions of errors. And then they create the impossible, because they didn't stop. And it was non negotiable. They just took the feedback and made adjustments. And if we do that, with our personal development, we will get there. But it's like you said, it's not about the destination. If you get attached to that destination, then you're going to miss opportunities for more growth, your current goal is based on where you are right now. And as you grow and expand and learn new things, your goal is most likely going to evolve into something bigger and greater and even more appropriate for you. But if you're so attached, no, no, I got to do this first, then you're missing the point, the goal is to pull you through the experience of life, that luscious journey with the ups and downs and the emotional ride and the people in the learning and the values and the lessons. This is why we're here to have the human experience. And that goal pulls us through that and makes us you know, take on the actions and behaviors of our best self and make the mistakes and become somebody that we really, truly are proud of being.

07:33

Huh, yeah. And, you know, it's interesting, because we miss out I think, on a lot of those opportunities, we don't see them, because we can get so hung up on the mechanism toward getting toward that goal instead of just the process of becoming that person.

07:49

Right. And look, we've become different people our entire lives. This is not a new thing for us. We're just talking about doing it consciously. Because trust me who you were 10 years ago, 15 years ago, there's some major differences. I'll bet yeah, I mean, there's some common thread. And then there are some fundamental things that have changed about how you see life, the meaning you make all of it. So this isn't new, what we're talking about is being intentional. And instead of letting the world and all of the circumstances guide, how we grow, we make a decision, we're going to grow this way. And we have the ability to do that, because we can choose what goes in here. And we can play with new ways of making meaning out of a situation that we thought was absolutely only this way. But when we really understand the how we got wired in the first place, and why we have these strong beliefs and what our truth is and how it's different than the person down the street. When we understand that then we can understand, okay, this is something flexible. This is something that can change, I can I can do something about this.

08:49

And that is so empowering to know that we have a choice. Given any circumstance, we can transcend any circumstance, we always have a choice in how we respond to it. So I love that you, you know, you're letting people know that you have the power, you have a choice.

09:08

Yes. And look, here's the thing, this isn't that revolutionary. I mean, it's just we've made it such a big deal because it's about our goals and our dreams and all of that and who we are and we've learned to make all of this so important and and who are we supposed to be we get to decide that. Again, we're just learning stuff. And we learned it automatically. without effort. It just we said yes to everything when we were little and that formed the basis of our truth. But we have the brain is still plastic, you can still change it. If you don't believe me go learn a new language. You can do that right? And why will you do that you'll because you really need to or whatever and you'll take the blessings, you'll take the journey and then you'll be wired for Spanish or whatever it is. So you can change your brain. There is no longer any excuse like well, I don't think this will work for me. Are you human? Is your brain a human brain? Because this is how it works. It's how it's working right now. You absolutely can do This, but you have to make the decision. And you have to have the commitment.

10:03

That and that's a key. You know, it's interesting because it just reminded me of a video that I was watching. And it was about neuroplasticity. And it was about somebody learning to ride a bike, but it was a back backwards by good to pedal differently. And through repetition, he Well, he couldn't do it initially, nobody could do it on stage. And he trained his brain through repetition, to ride in a completely different way, just to illustrate what you exactly what you're saying

10:30

is there's and there's numerous examples of that. So again, it's not we want to overcomplicate Okay, so what are the steps? What's the process for rewiring, it's okay? That people love our steps. We love our steps. But this is just we're just doing like, we're making such a big deal out of it. My whole goal here is to simplify this whole conversation around transformation into you're just learning a new thing. What do you want to learn, you study it, you don't, there's so many concepts and theories and philosophies that people get lost in. And don't transform and just don't do the work. I spent 20 years talking about vibration, and energy and resonance and resistance and all of these techniques to deal with all of those things, just so that people will feel comfortable with what the law of attraction is, let alone who they want to be or who they need to be. To attract this life they want. This is so key. Again, you got to take the journey you to be that person you take on the behaviors of that person now not then that's not how it works. Because if you woke up tomorrow with all of your desires, how are you going to maintain it? You don't know how you got there. So that's why lottery winners lose money because they don't have any investment strategy. They got no bank accounts, the no plan, no plan. They're not a millionaire, but a true millionaire can lose a million and then make it back because they do the things they be a millionaire. That's the difference.

11:50

I love that. And how how do people begin to be that person right now, when their goal is out here, their vision for themselves in the future is out here? How can they start to do that?

12:03

There are I promise you if you made a list of so I have my folks analyze what is the gap so that they can see in behavior that this future version of themselves or whoever they're, you know, aspiring to be like, what is the behavior that they're that they have, and your imagination will fill in some blanks? Well, they're probably more on time than I am, they probably a little bit more integrity, they might work a little bit harder, they might stop this inner conversation. They don't tell this story over and over and over about why I couldn't do it. These are all behaviors or they take care of themselves, they get enough, get enough sleep, they exercise every day. These are all things you can do right now, it doesn't depend on anything happening out there, you have to decide that's the person that is going to have those things. So let's do this right now. Let's be this right now. And as soon as you start externalizing, those things, the outer world, this world out here must change, it must respond differently, because you're giving it different input, it's not going to do the same thing. If you keep if you give it something different to work with. So as soon as you start being this out here, as uncomfortable as it's going to be because it is going to be that because you're not wired for it yet, the world will start to change. And as long as you stay consistent, you're going to see the change out there. But the change out there doesn't happen until you externalize it, it doesn't happen because it's on your vision board or on a list or in your visualization. The visualization is a key part of it. It allows you to rehearse being this ideal you without even having to be out there in the world doing it. You can imagine every possible scenario where you're normally disempowered and imagine yourself being empowered and taking the action you want to take saying the thing you want to say. And you can rehearse that over and over and over with true feeling and that in the Law of Attraction conversation was about then you'll put the energy out there and you'll get to a vibrational match. But what you're really doing is biologically carving new grooves in your brain, that when you go out in the world, and that thing happens that normally sends you into your autopilot reaction, you're aware of number one, because you've been looking at it and studying it and you have dozens of different ways you can be in that moment, because you've rehearsed them, and then you do it and then the world begins to change.

14:11

Your your subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between what's real and what's imagined. And that reminds me of the studies that Denis Waitley had done with Olympic athletes and the Synopsys were firing, and they were imagining their events. And it's the same thing exactly that mental rehearsal. I love that musicians.

14:30

I use those examples all the time and anybody is capable of this. This is not for special people. If you have a human brain, this is how it works. But you got to stop telling yourself all the stories, you got to tell yourself you got to stop telling your stories about why you can't have it or why it won't work for you. Because look, I know you've got all the evidence you need. Nobody you don't understand. I really can't because they did this and I had this situation and all this. But look, you can look out in the world and see and just spend a couple of hours on YouTube, you will see so many stories of people who started in situations so much worse than you will ever experience and who are doing amazing things. It's possible, they just had a different inner conversation than the one you're having. So they took different action got different results and grew new neural pathways. But if you keep telling your justification story, biologically, you are just solidifying that highway of network of neural pathways. And so it will always be your autopilot response, you will always judge everything that comes your way against all of that truth data, and you'll come up with whatever answers supports that. But if that answer, if those answers do not give you a happy, joyous life with passion, passion and purpose, then you just need to know you can change all of that. But you have to be willing to let go of it. And it's scary for people because it's become their identity, which is why we first figure out what's your new identity. Because if you don't know that, then giving up your old stories is like jumping into an abyss. So people are doing it all out of order. But hopefully they won't anymore. Oh, absolutely.

16:05

And this is so important that you know, it's interesting, because I was working with a group of people on time management, and I was doing a two hour workshop and probably three quarters of our time together was What is your current relationship with time look to your results? And that will tell you and what do you want it to be? Because if I give you all the tools, you're not going to use them anyway, you probably know all the things I'm going to share with you. So it's it's you, I love that you have to have that vision for where you want to go, what do you want to change? Who do you want to be? And then start asking different questions.

16:40

So you said it asking different questions is such a huge one. Because people ask themselves, why is nothing working? And those are the answers you will get. And they're just not trained to ask questions that don't seem real or true. Like why everything's so easy for me. Why do I just consistently meet the right people at the right time? These are questions that are totally legal and free of charge to ask yourself and your brain is going to start looking for those answers. like it does when you ask why doesn't even work from your why does this keep happening over and over? Probably because you keep asking yourself that?

17:13

Yeah, yeah, that's so true. Yeah. Cuz the filtration system in your brain is just giving you more of what you're asking for. And I liken it to even you know, earlier, when businesses were pivoting, a question of how can we stop losing money? Versus how can we serve our people, our clients? They're two very different questions, both valid, but one is going to yield much better results.

17:40

Yep, that's absolutely right. And we need to learn to ask those more more edifying questions. But again, so many of us have been trained not to even allow ourselves to think positively about things like to have a glimmer of hope. This is this whole conversation is terrifying. to so many people, because of however, they've been wired, this idea that they can grow bigger, they stop themselves time after time after time. One of the main reasons that people stopped themselves in any kind of program, which is most of the time that the personal development industry, the self help is the results. The statistics are abysmal. But this is why the wiring because if you're doing it by yourself, no matter how intelligent you are, no matter what your experience is, no matter how wise or enlightened you are, at some point, the growth point, you will reach the limits of your wiring. That's what we're talking about. That's what growth is. And so if it gets really uncomfortable, and you don't have the right support, you're going to be and you don't know how to solve the situation about discomfort. And all you're doing is referring to your own experience, your own expertise, your own intelligence, no matter how impressive it is, if you're not getting the answer, then you will most likely rationalize stopping. Well, I've got all this data that says I'm done. But a coach or anybody from the outside can say let me just give you 12 million other ways you can look at this situation. And that right there is life changing. So you that we're all there's a billion of us, we're here to do this all together. And a lot of people have this I got this attitude towards personal development, but then they can't get past that point. And that's why it's not because they're not smart. It's not because there's not deserving or anything. It's just they've reached the limits of their brains wiring and their brains wiring is everything. Yeah,

19:23

you know, I want to shake people sometimes because they're doing really well. They're hard chargers, they've been successful. But when they're not asking for support or seeking that coaching and that guidance, they're actually playing small.

19:39

Yes. Oh, it took me years to learn that by the way, because be the kind of a control freak and certainly I and I got this type kind of person. But as soon as I opened myself up for it, it's like, oh, okay, well, this is yes, it's if you're smart, you will know that you must you must consult from the outside to when you get to that growth point because all your resources Is are all you've got. But there are so many more out there, if you'll just go get them. And this M rewiring rewiring is such such a part of this. And so remembering those rules of consistency and knowing why you're doing it, these will get you the results. Yeah,

20:15

we all have blind spots. I mean, that's, that's a fact. You know, and we can't see ourselves through them, obviously, because we can't see them. So that's so important. And so how do you work with clients? I'm just curious.

20:31

So the first thing I do is I give them this quiz, I created a quiz that I call the transformation personality type quiz, it's 60 seconds, they do it online. So multiple choice takes like a minute, that's 60 seconds just to underscore that. But what it does is it tells them what I call and I made this all up based on my own 20 years of doing this, this is a tool for me and the people I work with, but it tells them their transformation, personality type. And these types have traits. And these traits can sometimes cause a person to self sabotage. So these are the autopilot wirings that they may not be aware of. So any insight that they can get about how they run on autopilot when they don't know it is hugely valuable, because that's the starting point. Because now that we know, that's the behavior we want to replace. So now we have a starting point, how would we rather be than this in these situations, and then we start to start to craft who this person is and build from there. And then I give them this, this process of daily visualization on the front end or back end of the day to create those groups and the various tools to deal with the emotional flare ups and stuff. But it is about providing an environment where they will be consistent, where they do have a community where they do have coaching, where they do have the daily reminders that hey, this is not rocket science. This is not metaphysics, this is easy stuff, just do this and it'll work.

21:48

Ah, that's, you know, you're providing the roadmap, you're providing the guidance, it sounds like the community as well, which is, you know, we always talk about in rat race reboot the importance of having mastermind, people or people that are learning and growing at the same level as you some people who are beyond where you want to be, and, and also reaching a hand to pull somebody with you. That's the power of that.

22:12

And also, a lot of people stay stuck with their own tribe, they're uncomfortable, like one of the types that I test for is a people pleaser. And they're the type that wants huge growth. But as soon as they start to demonstrate that they are changing and being a different way, the reactions of the people around them their current tribe, who they fit in just fine with up to this point, because it's they're all in agreement about stuff now doesn't know what to do with you, and can give you a look or nasty comment or whatever. And the the people pleaser that I'm talking about allows that to stop them from their growth to rationalize this so that everybody can be comfortable. But of course, nobody's comfortable. They're not comfortable just because they're not telling you. They're not comfortable. They don't believe they can have their dream and they're letting them know that through doubting yours, and then you gave up your your life for them, and nobody's happy. So the best thing you can do is, of course, go for it succeed. And then hopefully, you'll inspire them. But if not, you will attract a new tribe. And that's my, that's where I was going with this, then you will have people surrounding you who do give you what you need to grow, who support you edify. You can be a stand for you can be resources for you, et cetera. But if you just stay here, where are you going to get all that?

23:18

Yeah. And it sounds like you're arming people, or helping them develop this certain level of confidence within themselves so that you know, those external people that might be giving them that look, or that look of disapproval, it doesn't really impact them as much anymore.

23:35

Yes, confidence is almost all of it really, when you get right down to it, the knowing that you can do this. And the understanding that sometimes you're gonna get results and feedback that you don't like, but it doesn't mean you can't do it, it means you needed that feedback to become that person. So is the confidence comes from my brain can change. That's it, that should be all you need to know. So as long as you just keep feeding it what you need to feed it, and starve it of the old stuff that you don't need anymore. Your brain will change and your confidence will play out because you will become that person and get that person's results. The person who takes that action will get that person's results.

24:11

Yeah. Oh, making making decisions like the person you want to be. I love that. Yes. Yeah.

24:17

By the way, that's how they should be creating their vision from that person's point of view, not yours. Because a lot of people for example, will come into the law of attraction conversation. I want a million dollars. I want this because they're trying to solve all their problems. Ah, yeah, right. They're in this lack mentality, fear, whatever. So they're trying so who their being is a scared person who needs a quick fix. That's not who you want to be. You want to be the person who easily maintains whatever lifestyle it is, by doing and being the person you want to be the the universe is ready to support you on that. But you have to take the journey.

24:52

That is gold. I mean, how many of us innocently want something? But then if we ask ourselves, well, why do I want That, is it for the quick fix, is it to solve the problem, then even though we think we're forward thinking we're actually not, that is gold, and we don't even realize it.

25:10

So what does that successful person? Want? What are their goals? What are their aspirations? Because that's what you should be going for. Right? I mean, because that's the end game, you want to be what that person is, and have those things that person has. And it's not necessarily this. So you just gotta be real clear when I've made it when money is no object or whatever your criteria is, what do I want, then? And that's what's on your vision board.

25:35

I love that. Well, how can people get in touch with you? How can they connect with you? We will have all of your links, of course in the show notes. But where would you direct them first? Probably the

25:45

quiz. Okay. So the quiz would probably be the first step because then you'll learn about you. And then you'll learn about how kind of what we talked about how I work people through this rewiring process. And then I've got, you know, you can put it in your notes. But there's a I got my own website, a bob Doyle website, where it's all things Bob hubbed, all my socials training, speaking, coaching all of that stuff. But I think for the purposes of this conversation coming in through the quiz doors the best,

26:09

Okay, excellent. Now is I mean, we've covered so much and there's so many different directions, we could go, is there anything that we didn't cover that you want to relay to our audience?

26:19

I'm really about simplifying this, I want to break it down to the one line, you can change your brain, your brain can change however you want to word it, that's all you need to know. And then it's how do we want to change it and go through that process? So I mean, we could break down the types and all of that, but I don't talk about like the parts of the brain and all those other things either in what I do with people, because my work is about getting them to transform and change not understand still another whole thing, like the law of attraction, I mean, you can study it if you want to, but I don't want people getting slowed down on all of that stuff.

26:50

Yeah, yeah. It can be a distraction. Yeah. Yes, it

26:53

1. It's a delay tactic. As soon as I understand what the amygdala does, then I can do this.

27:00

Just do this. Yeah, I love it. I thank you so much for joining us on the show. I know that so many people are going to get so much value from what you provided today. Great conversation. And I encourage you to get in contact with Bob. Take that quiz. We have all of his links in our show notes. So connect with him. And again, thank you so much for joining us today. Totally My pleasure had a blast. Absolutely. All right. Well, we're going to end today's episode the way we always do. And it's I love it because it's in alignment with what we just talked about. It's becoming that person you want to become right now and taking inspired action. So wherever you are, unless of course you're driving, and I want you to be safe, but take a deep breath in through your nose. And exhale. Take another deep inhale and exhale. And take one last inhale through your nose. Hold it and then exhale slowly and completely. Who do you want to become? Ask yourself that question. Ask, who do I want to be? And how can I serve? How am I living when I'm serving at my highest potential and allow that image to just unfold in your mind's eye

28:51

begin to take in all of the sights and sounds around you in that image. Maybe even bring to mind how you're serving and who you're doing this with. How does it feel being you in that moment? You are living at your highest potential. And you're taking in the energy that you're putting out to everyone else. How is everyone else responding to you and how you give and how are you receiving that? Doesn't it feel so good being you

29:49

This is the life you created and not only are you worthy of this life feel

30:02

that life is worthy of you you are truly limitless so hold that image breathe into it this is the life you created. And as ideas or thoughts or inspiration bubble up just jot them down. But not only that, take action. Right now you are in harmony with this vision, your wants your desires. So ideas that come from that are meant for you

31:06

welcome back everyone. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. Remember to take that inspired action and remember also that everything is created twice, first in your mind and then in physical form. We'll see you next week.

31:25

The views and opinions expressed by the hosts guests or callers of this program do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the studio 21 podcast cafe, the United Podcast Network, its partners or affiliates.